what would Maria do?

OK, I haven’t posted in awhile. All is fine and good and potentially even great but what I’ve got to do it take on the “What would Maria do” stance. Who is Maria you ask? Maria Von Trapp, naturally. She sings when she’s sad and confused, and come on, that’s just adorable.

For those of you who don’t know, I’m speaking of the Sound of Music, my all time favorite film (aside from Wedding Crashers). Don’t you even laugh! It’s a lovely film. I love musicals. I myself break out in song, though, sadly I do not have such a great singing voice….OK, so this post is not about musicals or singing, I only thought of Maria Von Trapp because she’s so freakin’ perky and positive and I just wonder what she would do if she were me…at a turning point…not quite a rut. Simply transition. I’m requesting your happy thoughts.

So, I’m just amazed by people. Yes, I’m a waitress. Being a waitress can be fun. Really, I’m not joking and being a waitress can be educational. Really, I’ve learned how to set a table and about what you should do when you’re finished eating and all kinds of fun rules of etiquette. I know that you should serve from the left and clear from the right. I know to “Pardon my reach” when reaching across the table. I know. I know. I know what makes me a “good” waitress and a “bad” waitress. I know that I’m some kind of idealist. I know that my simple expectations will never be met. AND, I now know that I’m not really self-absorbed. Before you laugh and question that, let me explain.

Yes, I write often about my thoughts and my life. Yes, I require a lot of attention when going through a crisis but I’m also pretty aware and cognizant and I’m completely dumbfounded when I see oblivious behavior. Yep, I’m opinionated, but you knew that already.

It is my opinion that a lot of people, A LOT, are self-centered and inconsiderate. I shall enjoy pointing out exactly why. I firmly believe my readers (you) do not need this information. I post it because I think you understand.

Last night I served at a Passover Seder. It was a very large event. We were a little understaffed. The way it works in large events is that there is a planned out serving schedule. Here’s how it works.

Drink order is taken.
Salads are served.
(clear)
Soup is served.
(clear)
Entrée is served.
(clear)
Dessert is served.
(clear)
Coffee is served.

Now, this does not mean that as a guest, you can’t ask for something out of sequence, say for example you desire a cocktail while consuming your soup. This is a perfectly fine request. But realize this, your server is on a schedule, your server may not have yet served the table next to you. No, your server did not “forget” about you. Your server just can’t drop everything for you to grab your martini. You’d be surprised how many people take this personally.

I’ve worked so many banquets where there is a set menu. You’d think that if someone had a special dietary concern they would inquire beforehand. The kitchen is always willing to accommodate any special requests. What I have little tolerance for is when people, grown adults, specifically, throw cry baby fits when they don’t get what they desire.

At the staff meeting we were told that the guests would be served a traditional Passover Seder dinner, which meant that Brisket would be the entrée. We were told that there were a total of 15 whitefish entrees and that 6 entrees were already spoken for. The dinner was for about 300 people. You do the math.

A man asked me if brisket was the only entrée being served. As a thoughtful (and good) server would do, I asked the Server Captain. I was told that we could indeed serve him the whitefish. I went to the table and told him so. I gave him his fish while the rest of the table was being served the traditional brisket. Yes, I said traditional. This is a traditional meal.

Normally, as custom would have it, the ladies are served first but because the man had made a special request, he was served his fish. While placing the TRADITIONAL brisket in front of his wife she said directly to me, as if she were a child, “Don’t bother even putting that in front of me, I won’t even eat it”. OK, a few things were going through my mind. This is a TRADITIONAL meal. Don’t you know that you will be served brisket and if you don’t like brisket, then why didn’t you inquire ahead of time to choose another menu item? Another thought. Why didn’t the husband offer the fish to his wife? Instead of speaking to me in that child-like manner, why couldn’t she just ask me, “Have you any more fish, I would really prefer it if you do?” See how simple that is? It’s all about respect. Do you even realize how much easier it is to get the things you desire by simply asking?

The lack of respect out there in the world is amazing. The other day at work I was clearing a table. I asked a women, “May I take your plate?” Do you know that this woman turned to me and said with a cold face, “huh?” She said “HUH”. Judging (yep, I was judging) from her appearance, which, was upscale casual, and judging (yep) the company she was with who spoke intelligently (yes, I was eavesdropping). I was surprised by the absence of her manners.

So, I realize, that as a waitress I need to let go of how I believe that people should behave as I have no control over this and I also know that my time with these people whom I loathe so much is brief and temporary. I need to get over it.

On the other hand, there are many reasons why my idealistic ways attribute to why I’m a good waitress. I actually CARE if the cook attempts to serve the quesedilla that he just dropped on the floor and I will refuse to serve it even though he’s going to give me an attitude and probably even hold a grudge and make my time at work unpleasant. Yes, this has happened. AND, I care when the busboy drops a loaf of bread on the floor and I see him try to serve it. I’ll also have a discussion with him and he will take it personally and give me an attitude even thought it’s just a freakin’ loaf of bread that he doesn’t even have to pay for. I take food allergies very seriously so when people request an item without the ingredient that could make them ill and possibly kill them, you better believe that I ask every single person involved in the process of preparing their meal to MAKE SURE that there are no nuts, or whatever the toxic ingredient is.

I forget what my initial point was. But, there you have it, that’s what’s going on with me.

Oh, one more thing, I must point out of course, the very kind and cultured people whom I have the pleasure of serving and who help me to pay my bills by tipping me appropriately (20% yo!). I should also point out that despite the fact that a lot of people get on my freakin’ nerves, most people are pleasant and I genuinely hope they enjoy their dining experience. Honest, I do.

Yours truly,
Jolene the geeky idealist.

Comments

[froufox]

Hi Jolene, froufox here. Thanks for the post of encouragement. After reading it, the emotion that springs to mind is that I am proud of you. Yes, that's it. Proud.

I've added you to my blogroll, love it if you'd do the same. Here's the link.

http://velvetverbosity.blogspot.com/